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The Ross Who Knew Too Much

Thursday, April 28, 2005

As "American Idol" doesn't get enough attention as it is...

Since the Pioneer Press' usual "American Idol" reporter was on vacation this week, I was drafted to watch the show and file a pair of brief stories.

Like every other person in the country with operable ears, I was convinced the creepy, bearish baby momma-beating Scott Savol would be voted off this week after he absolutely butchered "Dance with My Father Again" on Tuesday's episode.

Instead, sleepy-eyed Greek Constantine Maroulis got the boot. He did ACTUALLY CHOOSE to sing a Nickleback song -- and, like Bo Bice, he seems unaware of the healing powers of a dime-sized dab of conditioner -- but that's hardly reason to keep Scott around for another week.

A mysterious reader sent me a link to this Web site as a possible explanation to what's going down on "AI," although I hate to ascribe so much power to such a poorly designed Internet eyesore.

Much more likely is the fact that Constantine's surely terrible band just signed a deal with Koch, the label that scored some blood money after releasing a quick-and-dirty CD from this guy. Given that the producers of "American Idol" are not affiliated with Koch in any way -- but stand to make boatloads of money from the season's winner -- this seems like a much more likely explanation.

ABC is promising an "explosive" expose on "American Idol" next week. If the biggest revelation is that Ryan Seacrest loves him some botox, I'm never going to watch ABC again!

In one more bit of "AI" news that's already been reported across the globe, Bo Bice has enjoyed his Coke and a smile. Rock on, Bo!


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